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Thursday, October 11, 2018

Thursday Thoughts: Encounters with Angels


It’s been a rough week, let’s just say that and leave it at that.  Teenagers.  Crazy old people.  Stressed out husband.  Bills.  See my last post about Anuus Horribilis and you will understand; this week was no better.


With added stressors of its own (and I will spare you the details on that believe me) this week has done its fair share to knock me into the ground. 

A friend of mine has a craft booth at a weekly farmer’s market near my home so on occasion on a Thursday evening I’ll stop by and see her.  I’ll bring my little folding chair and stay for a while and we always have a lovely visit. I meet the nicest people who stop to buy the beautiful items she creates and it's always a pleasant diversion from my real life.

Well tonight I was sitting there and a regular customer of hers stopped by and they chatted for a while. Finally the woman asked ‘How is your friend doing?”  And my friend turned and gestured  to me and said “this is the friend.”  Apparently during a conversation at some point she’d told her customer about what I’m dealing with—the “two Crazy Old People”-- and the woman was sympathetic since she’d once dealt with a  similar situation,  also with her in-laws.

I immediately liked her and was drawn to her warm personality.  She is Italian and understood what it’s like to have Italian in-laws, especially the mother-in-law LOL.  We chatted for a bit, she gave me some good suggestions for ways to help ease some of the frustration of dealing with, well, two crazy old people LOL.  And when we parted she said she would pray for me.

In a week that has had me wondering more than once if anyone Upstairs was listening, it was a nice reminder that He was. He may not have made the house call I needed, but I heard Him speak loud and clear through Ellen and felt the presence of angels.

And it helped.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Monday Morning Musing: Annus Horribilis



Queen Elizabeth II used the words Annus Horribilis in late 1992 to describe the particularly unpleasant year she and the royal family had endured.

2018 has been mine.

Before I share why, let me just say this is not intended as a whine, or as a poor pitiful me story.  Nor am I in the habit of ever asking “why me?”  Quite the opposite.  It's just the facts, plain and simple.  So here they are, in no particular order.

Life changes.  Yes, it does.  My oldest son graduated from high school this year.  I did not expect it to bother me the way it has, after all, he is still here at home and going to local college rather than away.  But it’s still the end of something and the beginning of something new.  And it’s different.  And that is scary in its own way and very bittersweet.  My baby is, for all intents and purposes, a young man. An adult.  It’s still a little sad to drive past the high school and know he isn’t inside.  My youngest is still there but I miss dropping them off and picking them up at the same time, the laughter of their friends as they pile in my car for a ride home.  He is at the community college and doing well, far better, actually, than he ever did in high school. But since he doesn’t have his driver’s license yet, it leaves me to take him there and back every day.  Half hour out.  Half hour back.  Repeat at pick up time. Every day.  It’s exhausting and really eats into my work schedule.  I keep reminding myself it’s only temporary, by spring he will most likely have his license.  That leads to even scarier thoughts.  Let's not go there!

Two crazy old people.  Yes, I said that.  Tongue planted firmly in cheek, of course, but it’s true.  My in-laws have been in declining health for some time.  My father in law with dementia, my mother in law with physical ailments.  Sometime around May of this year she went to bed not feeling well and just chose to never get back out.  She spent all day every day alone in her darkened room, no TV, no books, just laying there.  My father in law has always filled the role of caregiver to her, she does nothing for herself, nor for anyone else.  (She's just not a nice person. I believe there are some mental issues at stake, but I'll save that for another rant).

 By August she had been in bed for three months straight and not only was my FIL wiping her bottom and changing her bed and clothing several times a day, he was half lifting her into a desk chair with wheels to push her into the bathroom (he weighs all of 130 pounds).  Family dynamics being what they are, no one really knew what to do about the situation, especially with my FIL not letting anyone in the house (for fear, I suspect, we would see how bad it really was) or letting anyone go upstairs to see her (see earlier reference to personality to try and understand why it took so long for us to think this was anything other than a bid for attention on her part).  I finally had enough of the “let’s wait and see how she is tomorrow"  stall and called an ambulance over the objections of both my FIL and husband.  

Long story short, she has been in the hospital ever since. Nearly two months now.  She can barely walk, she is completely incontinent and nuttier than a squirrel gathering acorns in the fall. She needs to be in a nursing home where she can get daily care, therapy, stimulation from being around others.  But what do you do when people don’t have enough money to pay for a nursing home out of pocket but have too much money for Medicaid to step in?  You hire a lawyer to try and get them coverage for the care they need.  Which means tracking down a whole lot of old paperwork in a house that is filled with years’ worth of junk.  (The IL’s are children of the depression who throw away nothing.  It borders on hoarding.)  And sometime around 2010 their filing system just went kaput.  Nothing was put away in any sort of order.  Just left in piles all around the house.  I know this because in my searches through said piles and files, the stuff that was put away “sensibly” ends around 2009 and the stuff thrown in in piles begins with paperwork from 2010.  Sadly while I can find a receipt for a color TV purchased from Sears in 1974, I have not been able to find documents of any real importance.  

She is on a waiting list for a nursing home now, and the sad truth is, even once she’s in a home somewhere and settled, it's still not over because my FIL really should not be living alone.  So, we will need to find somewhere for him next, probably assisted living.  He is no longer allowed to drive so we take him where he needs to go, to the barber, to church, the grocery store, up to see my MIL.  I had to finally admit defeat on driving him to the hospital on weekdays when college started for my son, I just couldn’t drive them both to opposite ends of the county every day.  So now I pay friends to take him up in the afternoons and my husband picks him up each evening, brings him home and makes him dinner.  Which means I see my husband sometime six and seven a.m. in the morning before work, and around 8:30-9:00 at night, as I'm heading to bed exhausted and he is coming home from taking care of his father.  

So that is what we've spent the past several months doing. I do have a sister in law, but she can’t be bothered to help with anything (see earlier reference to mom's personality.  That apple did not fall far, believe me).  I'm sure the minute my in-laws are are cold in their graves she will show up with her hand out, looking for her share.  There is a nephew, too, with all kinds of advice and suggestions. But no action.  It’s frustrating when family members who can’t take the time to visit  offer all kinds of helpful suggestions on what you “should” be doing without having taken the time to visit the hospital or really understand the situation. And it's always nice to hear how they'd love to help but just don't have the time. 

And last but not least...

Senior Dog.  The last time I had a year this bad, in 2013 when my dad passed away, my best buddy was there every day nagging me to go for walks. We took lots of them and I sailed through the stress just fine, thanks to his persistence in helping me to pound the pavement and burn off some of what I was feeling. Now he is 12 ½, has trouble with his back legs and wakes us 2-3 times a night to go outside for a potty break.  Our daily walks are now limited to the end of the driveway and back a few times. I miss those long walks.  I miss the joy in his eyes as he sniffed new things or had a chipmunk skitter across his path.  And I miss fitting into my clothes, I’ve gained weight since my stress release has gone from dog walking to cookies and cupcakes.  But his eyes are still bright, he still plays with his toys every day and barks at the kids when they get out of line, as he always has.  I’m trying to savor these golden years with him and make them happy and restful ones but it’s exhausting and sad and I dread the day we have to say goodbye.

Anyway, if you’ve stuck with me this far, thanks for listening.  Not sure why I felt the need to post this, maybe I just needed the therapeutic release I normally would get from writing about fictional people and their struggles. 

Please don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to still have my health (more or less-I have got to get on top of the cookie thing!)- my family, glad my dog is still here and my mom is healthy. I'm grateful for the way my kids have stepped up to help take care of their Grandpa, grateful to see the responsible young men they are becoming.  

I certainly know others who are dealing with much, much worse than what I've described here. This is merely my annuus horribilis.  We all have them I guess.  I keep reminding myself that God is in control and He’s got this. I just need to stop fretting so much and let Him handle it.   

Good thoughts as we begin a new week!

Nic

Friday, September 21, 2018

And this one, too!  Northern Temptress is finally available on audio book!  Narrated once again by the amazingly talented Dawson McBride. This one is truly the story of my heart, so I'm very excited to have this one available on audio book!!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2018


It's finally here!  As of last week, my 2010 historical release Wild Texas Wind is finally available on Auido Book through Audible and, of course, The Wild Rose Press!

I was super fortunate to have the mega talented sexy voiced Dawson McBride (the man is a cowboy God!) narrate and he brought Raz, Arden and all my favorite secondary characters to life beyond my wildest imaginings!  He made me fall in love with this story all over again.

Here is the link for Amazon. Be sure to stop over and listen to the sample! 

I'll post the buy link for The Wild Rose Press as soon as it becomes available. 

Monday, July 24, 2017

Monday Morning Musing: A Shot of Adrenaline

I found the review below on Facebook last week when someone posted it about Northern Temptress, and it lifted my spirits considerably. Last week's critique meeting also served as a shot in the arm as we brainstormed ideas around the corner I thought I'd written myself into.  Feeling much more positive about moving forward with Wild Texas Bride.  If only I could find a little time to write! I spent most of Sunday working, so hopefully my schedule will allow for some down time by mid-week to do just that.

Meanwhile, here's the review.


If you loved 'Gone With The Wind', you will love this book. A great love story and history of the Civil War showing the horrors and sadness of war but also the hope and redemption of the human spirit. One of the best books I've read.
Smiling.

Hope you had a lovely weekend.

Nic

Friday, July 21, 2017

Friday Inspiration

I love this quote because it's pretty much how I write--create the characters, turn them loose on the page and chase after them.  I hope you find it helpful for this week's Friday Inspiration.





First, find out what your hero wants, then just follow him!
– Ray Bradbury


Enjoy your weekend!


Nic

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Wednesday on Writing: Body Language Basics

As writers we're often reminded to show rather than tell, and it can be a difficult thing for a writer to learn.  Even after nearly thirty years of studying the craft, I still have to remind myself to do it sometimes.

In case you're new to the craft of writing, let me explain: When you're in one character's PV and you want to get something across to the reader about the emotions of the non-PV character, basic body language is a great help.  Clenched fists, furrowed brows, a flex of the jaw, eyes cast downward--these are all great non-verbal, non telling cues. And we all know what they mean when we see them. (I realize I rushed that explanation; if you want to know more, I'd be glad to post a longer blog about it.  Just ask.)

I recently found a site on YouTube that takes videos clips of famous (and infamous) people and dissects their body language.  I warn you, though, it's addicting!  I highly recommend it if you struggle with showing rather than telling, or if you just want to take your body language skills up a notch.

I hope you find it fun and informative.

Happy writing!

Nic

Thursday Thoughts: Encounters with Angels

It’s been a rough week, let’s just say that and leave it at that.   Teenagers.   Crazy old people.   Stressed out husband.   Bills.   See ...